Dear Dr. Bawdy,
I am hung like a tic-tac-if you know what I mean. How exactly do I take my pebbles, marbles, love apples, acorns, or whatever you call them, and make something out of them by finally growing a set of balls?
Dear Bollixed Up,
To be a man today means having real cajones, the size of watermelons. This is often equated with courage, though admittedly, a rather strange place in which to carry it.
Growing a set of balls is no easy task. You can either send for a case of our testicle seeds which should be planted and watered daily. The other alternative is to just get a fucking life
Once accomplished, your balls will then be evident for one and all to see. Sorry to be such a — you should pardon the expression—“ball breaker,” but Dr. Bawdy calls ‘em the way he seez ‘em.