Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

Dear Dr. Bawdy,

I am hung like a tic-tac-if you know what I mean. How exactly do I take my pebbles, marbles, love apples, acorns, or whatever you call them, and make something out of them by finally growing a set of balls?

— Bollixed Up, Seattle, WA
doctor Bawdy advice

Dear Bollixed Up,

To be a man today means having real cajones, the size of watermelons. This is often equated with courage, though admittedly, a rather strange place in which to carry it.

Growing a set of balls is no easy task. You can either send for a case of our testicle seeds which should be planted and watered daily. The other alternative is to just get a fucking life

Once accomplished, your balls will then be evident for one and all to see. Sorry to be such a — you should pardon the expression—“ball breaker,” but Dr. Bawdy calls ‘em the way he seez ‘em.

Looking for more sound advice? Dr. Write Dr. Bawdy with your problems. Bawdy is the world's foremost authority on sex—says he.

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