Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say



Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

Lechers have rights too. So says Dominique Strauss Kahn, lecher extraordinaire, fighting to throw out charges linking him to prostitution, claiming that what authorities are really doing is trying to criminalize lust.

It seems that DSK, as his friends like to call him, helped organize orgies attended by the upper echelons of international society and staffed by high–priced escorts. The exclusive orgies called “parties fines” were lavish Champagne affairs which cost around $13,000 each—were an organized road show of sorts roving from Paris to Washington by businessmen seeking to ingratiate themselves with Mr. Strauss-Kahn, one of the most powerful men in the world.

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These soirees were orchestrated largely for the benefit of Mr. Strauss-Kahn, who sometimes sought sex with three or four women. Their format was simple. They would start with a fine meal and end with naked guests and public sex with multiple partners. Boys will be boys, and men, well…

There's really nothing really new here. It's all part of a long standing tradition, going back to Ancient Rome and the libertines of the 18th century. You know, the Find'em, fuck’em, forget ‘em school: Casanova, Don, Juan, rakes, roués, the parlor snake, and the contemporary ass-man. Strauss-Kahn considers himself among the greats. Alas, for those of us who are familiar with the philosophy of the Marquis de Sade, you my dear DSK are no Marquis de Sade.

Jimmy Carter had a lust for life and lust was only in his heart. But DSK leads a life for lust, and it seems to get no respect. He argues that just as the celibates of the Church have a right to have their sexuality or lack of same honored, so too should he and others for whom their penis is their North Star also be respected for their orientation and allowed to practice their beliefs freely.

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It’s all boils down to an issue of basic human rights, says DSK. Stop discriminating against those with a different lifestyle—free-fucking, free-loving men everywhere.

And the women? "Ce'st la guerre," says he—collateral damage, or what have you. As to the maid he attempted to rape in his hotel room? Just one more of those people disrespectful of his rights… fuck yes!

It's all a matter of principle, you see. Give me libertinage or give me…

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