Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

The first affair  occurred when  man  discovered the  wifely function was  to raise  a family  and  administer the  household, but  for pure pleasure and  excitement he had  to look elsewhere.


The  Old  Testament sanctioned such  activity  with  the  concubine(from  the  Latin  concubitus, “lying  together”), who  was  to serve  as  a man’s  consort on  a regular  and  exclusive basis.  Man later broke the monogamy with his mistress, inamorata, or paramour (14thC, originally  two  words,  par and  amour,  hence “being in love through or by sexual love”), though there  was a time when  it described spiritual love,  as  in  the  medieval poem  where Mary  spoke  of Jesus  as  “myne  own  dere  sonne and  paramour.” On a less  lofty plane, she  became his sparerib, side  dish, tackle (17thC), and  flame.

Verbally,  she  always  did  far better  than the  wife. The  wife was relegated to  a  conveniency  (17th–19thC), an  ordinary (17th–20thC), a  comfortable  (17th–20thC), and,  at  times,  an  impudence (17th–20thC). It was  conceded on occasion that  she  was  a necessary, but  that  term,  along  with a convenience, also  referred to a water  closet, putting her in somewhat less than distinguished company. The mistress, though at times  deemed peculiar (17th–19thC), has  always  been  his  natural and his pure (both 17th–19thC) and — when counted among  the very best—his purest pure (17thC).

But it’s been  downhill ever since.  When man  started playing  for keeps, she  became a  kept   woman  (18th–20thC) and  he,  her keeper, leaving  us with images  of a caged  female  held  at bay with chair  and  whip.  Her  glory faded  further  with  the  appellation, a wife  in watercolors (c. 1780–1840), “like their  enjoyments, easily effaced  or dissolved.” Her  slide  continued as  the  brazen hussy, finally  hitting  rock  bottom in  the  twentieth century as  the  other woman and  a little on the side.

Faithfully Yours

Conjugal infidelity  is not  a  subject you  casually fool  around with  (mid  20thC). To be caught cheating (20thC)  is unspeakable and  a  topic  of criminal conversation  (19thC). Some  even  dare call it treason (17thC), fleshly treason, or smock treason


Most  adults prefer  practicing adultery, but  even  with  practice it’s still hardly  adult  behavior—in fact, it’s not even adolescent. “Adult” and  “adolescent” both  derive  from the  Latin ad and  alere, “to  nourish or  raise  toward  maturity.” Adultery, on  the  other hand, comes  from  ad  and  alterare,  “to  change into  something else,”  as  to  corrupt another, or from  ad  and  alterum,  “to  turn  to another.”

Currently, adultery itself  has  been  badly  corrupted. It began when  Mencken dubbed it “democracy applied to love,”  culminating in  today’s  swingers and  what  some  call  open marriage (c. 1970s).

So too with the word adult. We label more and  more of our contemporary activities adult, though they  have  become increasing puerile. It’s enough to  drive  one  to  an  adult-entertainment zone for some  adult reading matter.

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