Dear Dr. Bawdy,
My husband and I are severe Republicans who simply adore Mitt Romney. We are looking to find ways to express our support for him sexually. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Yes We Can,
I love your positive attitude. It’s the mind-set that has made America special. Obama may have his auto bailout. But Republicans have auto-eroticism. And its centerpiece is the woman. This is after all, the year of the woman for the party.
Let the partying begin! Start the proceeding with a little foreplay doggy style. Then have your husband tie you securely to the top of the car, hop back in and proceed to floor it, hitting high speeds until you have achieved orgasm. Indicate same with a high piercing scream, hopefully heard above the din of the traffic.
After-play is important. He should lower you down from the roof and hose you down. Affectionate petting is also recommended. He should reward any cooing with a 64 oz. slurpy of your choice at the nearest Seven Eleven.
One caveat: Do not attempt this with lesser brands of vehicles. Lexus suggested, Cadillac Escalade is acceptable in a pinch. No hybrids, electric cars or other gimmicks.
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