Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"


Quoth she, “What is this so still and warm?”
“Tis Ball, my nag, he will do you no harm.”

“But what is this hangs under his chin?”
“Tis his bag he puts his provender in.” Quoth he,

“What is this?” Quoth she,
“’Tis a well where Ball, your nag, can drink his fill.”

“But what if my nag should chance to fall in?”
“Catch hold of the grass that grows on the brim.”

“But what if the grass should chance to fail?”
“Shove him in by the head, pull him out by the tail”

—Thomas D’Urfey, “The Trooper,” in Songs of Wit and Mirth or Pills to Purge Melancholy, 1719

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