Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"


Isn’t it awfully  nice to have a penis

Isn’t it frightfully  good to have it on Its swell to have a stiffy


It’s divine to own a dick

From the tiniest little tadger to the world’s biggest prick


So, three cheers for your Willy  or John Thomas

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake


Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend, your passing  or your cock

You can wrap it up in ribbons,  you can stuff it in a sock


But don’t take it out in public or they’ll stick you in the dock

…And  you won’t come back


—Sung by Eric Idle in Monty  Python’s, The Meaning of Life (1983)

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