Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"


A Biblical Fable

I’ll tell you a little story,
Just a story I have heard;
And you’ll swear it’s all a fable
But it’s gospel, every word.
When the Lord made father Adam,
They said He laughed and sang;
And sewed him up the belly
With a little piece of whang.
But when the Lord was finished
He found He’s measured wrong;
For when the whang was knotted
‘Twas several inches long.
Said He, “’Tis but eight inches
So I guess I’ll let it hang.”
So He left on Adam’s belly
That little piece of whang.
But when the Lord made mother Eve
I imagine He did snort,
When He found the whang He sewed her with
Was several inches short.
“Twill leave an awful gap,” said He,
“But I should give a damn,
She can fight it out with Adam
For that little piece of whang.”
So ever since that day
When human life began,
There’s been a constant struggle
‘Twixt the woman and the man.

—Anon., “Whang,” 20thC

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