Holy shit! Has this become a country of privilege or what! This business of paying extra for what was once a basic right has gone too far. You go to the ballpark to find that not only is seating arranged according to price but it also varies from game to game based on the attractiveness of the opponent.
Other perks are also available but only to the privileged: luxury boxes, preferential parking, licensed seating, and access to a better and wider selection of food. At SeaWorld, the general admission gets you through the door, and little else. Whether its lunch with Shamu or taking in the attractions which compelled you to make the trek in the first place, everything worth seeing and doing costs extra.
Now you have to pay extra for the right to swear. It used to be that you could curse in a large number of contexts where people were comfortable with colorful language. Alas, there’s been a clampdown in the workplace and even bars and restaurants, and traditional watering-holes, once sympathetic or tolerant of the practice are now off-limits to salty language.
Newspapers are obsessed with being “family friendly.” Radio and TV are similar wastelands, offering little hope to the verbally prurient.
If you’re looking for four letter words, you won’t find them on basic radio or network TV. You instead have to pay extra for them by subscribing to satellite radio or premium cable. Oh #$%*@!!.
And it doesn’t end there. It was recently announced that a German firm called “Schimpf-los” (“swear away,” in German) has decided to join the gold rush. It offers a service which has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer, swear, and curse to their heart’s content, using whatever unsavory language they desire.
You can almost guess what’s next—charging a different tariff depending on the radioactive content of the words. It can’t be long before “fuck” and “cunt” carry a premium price; while “ass” and “tits” are a mere pittance. Stay tuned.
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