Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

bawdy sexcereal
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last,
“what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.
― A.A. Milne

What’s the most exciting way to start your day?

Start off each day with a bang! –with a heaping big bowl of Sexcereal – one for you and one for your lover.

Snap, Crackle, and pop— you bet! Breakfast is for lovers! Who else?


Caution! Caution! Caution!

Dr. Bawdy offers the following suggestions:

  1. Do not dress for breakfast, the fewer clothes the better. You never know when and how Sexcereal will kick in.
  2. Repeat this quote out loud with your partner: “I like sex for breakfast, kid. I eat early and often.” ― Karen Marie Moning
  3. Be careful. Do not mix the bowls up. They are clearly labeled “His” and “Hers.” Imagine the horror of her having an erection and him screaming “Jesus Christ!” as he comes.
  4. Improvise: Consider a little something extra on the side, such as squeezing his oranges.
  5. Beware of bananas!
  6. Those little blue things in the cereal are not dried marshmallows.
  7. Make sure the children have left for school. Things could get somewhat embarrassing to see their mother and father stretched out across the kitchen table while covered in cereal. It could prove deeply traumatic.
  8. Make sure to contact your nearest emergency room for a breakfast lasting more than four hours.
  9. Bon aperitif!
  10. Note: Dr. and Mrs. Bawdy love sexcereal and have been having it for lunch, supper, and after-dinner snacks. At 150 year of age, Dr. Bawdy says it make him feel like a teenager again.


Directly from the desk of Dr. Bawdy – and

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