Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say



Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

Dear Dr. Bawdy,

My local SPCA chapter objects to my spanking the monkey, slamming the seal, and choking the chicken. Are there less objectionable practices?

— Pet Sensitive, Chelsea, MA
doctor Bawdy advice

Dear Pet Sensitive,

There’s always patting the pup, stroking the bunny, and tickling the kitty. They should all pass muster. That failing, take the situation firmly in hand, reject the ideological rigidity of the pet freaks, and just simply bang away.

Looking for more sound advice? Dr. Write Dr. Bawdy with your problems. Bawdy is the world's foremost authority on sex—says he.

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