Dear Dr. Bawdy,
My local SPCA chapter objects to my spanking the monkey, slamming the seal, and choking the chicken. Are there less objectionable practices?
— Pet Sensitive, Chelsea, MA
Dear Pet Sensitive,
There’s always patting the pup, stroking the bunny, and tickling the kitty. They should all pass muster. That failing, take the situation firmly in hand, reject the ideological rigidity of the pet freaks, and just simply bang away.
Looking for more sound advice? Dr. Write Dr. Bawdy with your problems. Bawdy is the world's foremost authority on sex—says he.
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