Bawdy Language

A sexual reference book like no other
Everything you always wanted to do but were afraid to say

Dr. Bawdy's counseling is wholly provided for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional. If you're dumb enough to take it, you'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Side effects may include bloated retina, collapsed vagina, anal rash, nasal drip, and double vision. Contact an emergency room psychologist for an erection lasting longer than 20 seconds.

Any further questions regarding individual circumstances should be directed towards your general practitioner/pharmacist/veterinarian. As to any contemplated legal action, tell your lawyer that Dr. Bawdy says he should simply "Fuck off!"

Archive for September, 2013


Enjoy more Quotes from the library of Dr. Bawdy

Enjoy new Bawdy Crossword every Monday.

bawdy crossword


When we summarily dismissed fuck from our working vocabulary, we added more than 1,500 expressions to take its place. Eric Partridge, the noted lexicographer, remarked as to how the large number of phrases “bear witness to the fertility of the English language and to the enthusiastic English participation in the universal fascination of the creative act.” Other critics saw the dismissal as a form of cowardice and hypocrisy.


Many of the substitute terms are vivid and expressive, oft-times ingenious. But none has proved more popular and inoffensive than doing it. For years everyone was doing it, doing it, doing it, and everyone knew exactly what it meant. Occasionally there was a screw-up, and somebody mistakenly took out the garbage, but for the most part, it came off as intended.

In 1934 the censors declared doing it “too suggestive” and banned it, doing, and doing it from the airwaves. This low blow deprived Rudy Vallee of the right to sing his greatest stage and radio hits, including “Let’s Do It,” “Do It Again,” and “You Do Something to Me.” Today, America is again doing it, with gusto. Of all the expressions we have for the act, the inarticulate favor doing it over all the others. Joan Rivers assured women everywhere that there’s really nothing to it, “Just close your eyes, lie back, and pretend you’re having an operation.”

It couldn’t be easier.

Does anyone know any other words for sex?

Um… one phrase I coined is “doing laundry.” People have gotten pretty creative with it. =)

-knock boots
-get busy
-horizontal dance
-“shag” haha

Oh, my…….

i’m repeating some, I know, but just to get warmed up:

– making love
– cuddling naked
– swapping juices
– getting down with (person’s name)
– going down
– getting lucky
– getting laid
– riding the boloney pony [someone else’s…adding it so i’ll remember it 😉 ]
– doing the nasty
– loving the nasty bits
– enduring (depending, of course, on partner)
– tingling (ditto above)

Some more
– making the beast with two backs
– horizontal tango
– dipping your nip in company ink (if your ‘seeing’ a work mate)
– humping
– boinking
– shagging
– poke
– shnu shnu (as in death by)
– swapping juices
– hiding the sausage
– chasing beaver
– getting jiggy wid it
– consentual rape (aka a unexpected quickie)
– slipping one in
– happy wake up call

Get it on fly:

– bumping uglies
– knocking boots
– getting it on
– getting your freak on
– doing the nasty
– making love
– fornication
– party in your pants
– getting your **** on
– pitching my tent near your waterfall
– riding the bologna pony
– moms making a pubey salad and she wants some of seths own dessert(lol)
– banging
– humping
– sexing


Cocoa Butter answered 4 years ago
– doing the nasty
– doing it
– getting busy
– horizontal boogie?
– humping
– screwing
– makeing love
– jump bones

Not so classical:
– Knockin boots
– Bump n grind
– Nookey
– Slappin skinz
– Boning
– Gettin Laid
– Smashing

Want more – errr sorry I’m having a brain fart right now!!! Two more and that’s all – I’m cooked
– Getting nobbed.
– Boned.

opps… more … I forgot my favorite oens:
– humping like rabbits
– getting your dinky stinkied
– hot beef injection
– forrarring for cherries

Read more –

Enjoy new Bawdy Crossword every Monday.

bawdy crossword